Pushing The Misunderstanding Truths
by teaisgood
Summary: It's been seven years since she's seen Ikuto. It's her nineteenth birthday party; she's invited everyone who was ever close to her. That includes Ikuto. However, things may not turn out the way you want them to. One-Shot.


"_Wait so who are you inviting again?" _

"Rima, this is the seventh time I'm telling you."

"_Just tell me again."_

I knew who I was going to invite. My Guardian friends. After all, they're the ones who've been through everything with me as a child. We've been through all the problems, hardships, heartaches, and joyous moments live has to offer.

After our Charas returned to where they once came from, all of us were astounded with the sudden shock. A jolt of electricity reawakened us; it told us we were ready now. Like a cub learning how to defend for itself.

We were… changing.

"I'm inviting you, Yaya, Kuukai, Nagihiko, Kairi, Tadase, Utau…"

"_What about Ikuto?" _

Ikuto. Last I had ever seen him was when he left Japan to go find his father. I'm sure he hadn't gotten himself into any trouble, but a girl can still worry. To be honest, I do still have feelings for that guy, despite the time we've been separated. He does send the occasional letter once in a while, but it's just not the same.

"I doubt he could make it."

"_It's your nineteenth birthday Amu; he would do anything that has something to do with you. Plus, Utau already said he would be coming back out, the least you could do is invite him."_

I let out a sigh. I was nervous about him coming. Perhaps he had a girlfriend? Maybe he was married? What if he'd forgotten all about me? Would he think I matured into a horrible-looking person? Most importantly, do I still love him?

So many questions, so little time

"Rima, can you ask Utau to invite Ikuto."

"_I already did."_

I could feel her mischievous smile creep towards the brim of her cell-phone. Her eyes would probably be half closed with a spark in her eye.

"Alright, see you at the party, Rima."

"_Love ya, babe." _

"Love you too." I sighed.

I hung up my phone, and threw it somewhere on the couch.

If Ikuto was coming back, perhaps he would stay? I doubt that. His father is probably the most important thing to him right now; none of his friends could come close to his blood-related _people_.

I remember that day at the airport.

He kissed my cheek, so very close to my lips, and said those words. My heart mingled with the sensation the jolts your brain gives you. Love. Such a simple word, only four letters, yet it has millions of different meanings. Do I love Ikuto?

Yes.

I only realized that after I started to go out with Tadase. It was my first year of college, and the relationship only lasted for a few months. It's sort of funny how Tadase lost to a person who wasn't even here.

Sad? Sort of.

Oh hell, that's pathetic.

Yaya and Rima both worked a company together. Yaya was going out with Kairi, and Rima was with Nagihiko. Kuukai and Utau had a relationship going on, but neither of them admitted to it. They still acted like little kids. Tadase was well… single. So was I.

On many occasions people would try to set us up together, but I knew it wouldn't work. Despite the seven year distance I had with Ikuto, I still loved him. My heart was his, whether he knew it or not.

The day at the airport I wanted to confess. I needed to confess. However, I was still young then and I knew it would come bite me in the ass later.

Anyway, I had all my part decorations, food, and music set. I already bought the cake, the candles, party streamers, the balloons. Not to mention I was marinating some meat in a special mixture. It was sure to taste good once it hit the grill. I bought some hotdogs, and well… the things you would eat at a BBQ.

I really had nothing to worry about since I was so prepared. Except one thing: Ikuto.

My heart is already pounding fast at the mention of his name, my head feels like spinning and my legs are completely gone. But this feeling feels _good._ That fuzzy feelings you get on the inside, that's what I feel whenever I was around him.

My over-admired prince was what my eyes wanted to see, but my heart wanted to see that misunderstood, stray, lonely cat. I didn't like through pity, but I liked him because I liked him. He could see me for who I really was, and that itself should be enough for any person to realize how someone feels for them. How you should feel for them.

But, his feelings are unknown.

He probably already has a girl, a pretty one; a smart one. They probably cuddle up in his bed each night and tell each other how their day was. Then they would proceed to make out, and sleep soundly with each other. Waking up the next morning in each other's embrace, only to look in each other's eyes and repeat the process.

That sort of annoys me. As psycho as his sounds, I do kind of feel the possessiveness over Ikuto. If he ever was with another girl, so as much even teasing her like he did to me, I would feel my jealousy meter go up tenfold and skyrocket to the heavens.

I'm hopeless.

*~~^~~*

Yup, today is my birthday.

I feel excited, exhilarated, and nervous.

The excited would obviously come from the fact I'm getting to see everyone together again. Exhilarated comes from the fact I'm only a couple years away from drinking at a legal age. Well, the age that my parents gave me anyway. And nervous comes from… well I'm sure you know. Ikuto.

I glanced at the clock, then down at my dress.

It was nothing special really. I was just wearing a small, tight-fitting black dress that pushed up my cleavage. It went down to the middle of the thighs. I felt sexy and powerful in this dress. My hair was just let down, which went down to the middle of my back. I made sure to style it accordingly to my dress.

I looked hawt.

**DING-DONG. **

What do you know; someone came exactly at the so-said time my invitation said. 5:00 PM. Actually, the only person that would come at that time….

I opened the door.

Tadase. I knew he would be the only one to actually come on time. Right to the last second. He was always that kind of guy, completely opposite from Ikuto. He would come on time, Ikuto would, well… be late… I guess. What the hell am I saying?

"Ah, Tadase." I smiled brightly.

"Nice to see you're doing well, Amu." He gave his princely charm right at me. But, it didn't work anymore. All clouds had been cleared in the sky, only the sun shone now.

"Yeah, you're looking pretty good yourself." I teased.

He gave a small chuckle.

"Oh, come in, come in."

He stepped in my large condo. He set his present down at the counter in the kitchen, and took a seat on the sofa across from me. Although I considered him as a friend… things still seemed to be awkward.

"A-Amu?"

"Yeah?" I asked nonchalantly. My Cool N' Spicy attitude started to come into play. Well, as long as it wasn't Ikuto who was around, I was free to use it whenever I pleased. It's good for my image too.

"I just want you to know, I still… l-love you." He stuttered, looking down at the ground, refusing to see my expression.

"T-Tadase I—"

**DING-DONG. **

I hurriedly avoided anything to do with the current subject and dashed toward the door. Thank god someone was here to break the ice with Tadase, it felt so awkward.

"Coming!" I yelled frantically. I left him back there, sitting on the couch; looking like an idiot. I felt sort of bad, I pitied him.

"Yo, Hinamori."

I saw Kuukai with Utau clinging onto his arm, looking the other way. Behind them were Nagihiko and Rima, holding hands. Last but not least, I saw Yaya and Kairi running towards us, as if the rest of the group were faster than them to getting to my place.

Pretty funny.

"H-Hey you're all here!" I gleamed with joy.

I scanned over the guests immediately. Rima: Check. Nagihiko: Check. Utau: Check. Kuukai: Check. Yaya: Check. Kairi: Check. Ikuto… was still not here. Maybe his flight was a little late? Maybe there's traffic.

"Anyway, come in! I have food and everything ready for you guys!" I joyously said. Like the harmonic choirs of the heavens, my presence was sure filled with happiness.

Kuukai passed by me, ruffling my hair like he always used to. Yaya gave me a big hug, as well as Nagihiko and Rima. Kairi was still shy, so all he did was offer a handshake, which I gladly accepted with a slight chuckle. As Utau passed by, she looked at me straight in the face.

Everyone was already setting up the party. Well, by that I mean getting the food ready to cook.

"W-What's up, Utau?" I nervously asked. She sure had that intimidating presence… her eyes were like torches at the Olympics. Impossible to burn out.

"It's about Ikuto." She looked down at the ground, then re-gazed her eyes back at mine.

I stayed quiet, allowing her to talk.

"He's not coming. He said he couldn't make it because of some technical difficulties…"

I wanted to cry right there. How I couldn't sleep last night thinking of what he would look like, or how much taller he would've gotten. Wondering what he would've gotten me for my birthday. Perhaps a kiss? That would just make my day. No my life. And to think, now was the perfect time to confess to him. But…

"I'm sorry, Amu. I tried my best to convince him… but…"

"It's fine, it's fine!" I laughed, hoping my façade worked.

I grabbed her arm and dragged her towards everyone else. The savage animals that were supposedly my guests were already dominating the steaks and hotdogs like they were the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park.

I smiled to myself.

Kuukai, of course, brought out the alcohol. Wine, vodka, beer, margaritas… you name it. Although I wasn't quite the drinker, I allowed myself to have a few sips of the wine. I had to let loose a little for my party.

As the party progressed into the night, Utau was cuddled up with Kuukai, as well as Rima and Nagihiko. Yaya and Kairi were just sitting next to each other. The young will always be the young.

Tadase and I hadn't talked to each other since that incident. I felt kind of bad that I couldn't return the same feelings he had for me.

Actually, I was kind of jealous of Utau and Rima. How I would love to cuddle up with Ikuto. I would give anything for a moment like that. My most expensive dress? Take it. My priceless Gucci bag? Take it. Anything… anything to have a moment like that with him.

"How about we give our presents now?" Rima declared, her sturdy voice consumed everybody into agreeing with her.

"Sure."

I was excited. Finally, presents. Birthday parties are all about presents. Well, if you put that your friends are the most important things crap beside, presents are all you need. Well, that's how I view my world. A bit sadistic?

Yes.

Rima gave me some designer clothes, which I adore. Nagihiko gave me the newest generation of the Ipod. Woo, music. Utau gave me a new Luis Vuitton purse. Yay. Kuukai gave me a specially designed jersey with HINAMORI on the back. Cool, cool. Yaya gave me a stuffed animal, one of those big ones. I can imagine it's Ikuto and sleep with it. Wait what? Kairi gave me a new camera. Kodak Moments here I come. And Tadase…

Tadase gave me a pretty necklace. It was gold, with a white diamond. It was sure sparkly and wonderful. Absolutely sublime at the least.

But, the present I wanted still wasn't given. I just wanted to see _him. _That would make this birthday worthwhile. Just a glance. Just a peek. Just a picture for God's sake. I just wanted to see him… but. But.

That was all hopeless.

"Thanks you guys, a lot. I love you all." I said, motioning a group hug.

We all hugged each other, and cleaned up the mess we made. It started raining outside, which was weird. It was like Mother Nature was telling me the party was over.

I met everyone off at the front of my complex. Which was… outside. We all had umbrellas, so no one was getting wet.

Yaya and Kairi were the first to go. I kissed Yaya on the cheek, and gave her a huge, nasty hug. I hugged Kairi too, which made him blush phoenix red. Yaya just nudged his elbow, and walked away.

"Byeeee Amu!" She waved.

Next was Kuukai and Utau.

I hugged Utau, and she whispered in my ear.

"I'm sorry… Amu. About Ikuto."

I hugged her tighter, reassuring her it was alright. Kuukai and I gave each other one of those hugs football players would give each other. He was always so happy and absorbent. I loved him. As a friend. Only as a friend.

Rima and I just kept on embracing each other, rocking back and forth. Making small squeals as the other kept squeezing harder. Nagihiko and I hugged, a warm, friendly, protective one. We said out goodbyes. They walked with each other to their car, holding hands.

I wish I could hold hands with _someone_ and walk to _our_ car together.

"Well, I'll be going, Amu."

Tadase was the last to go.

It was about 12:37 AM; it was raining outside. Everyone brought an umbrella because, well, everyone watches the news. They're aware of the weather. I wish I was like that. Too bad I have no time to watch the news every morning.

"Well, have a safe trip back, Tadase."

We hugged each other; he was warm. But… I really couldn't see him as anything more than a friend. He's cute and handsome, I'll give him that but… someone else kind of stole my heart.

He stared into my eyes, and I stared right back. I heard something like a puddle being splashed, but I ignored it.

Slowly, but ever so surely, his lips came closer to mine. I couldn't move. I didn't know what to do. Was I supposed to push him off and throw him into the flooded streets? No, I couldn't do that to him. He might cry.

So, I just stood there. Frozen. He brought his lips to mine, and started to kiss me. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know. I was lost. Maybe if I pretended he was Ikuto… No. Snap out of it.

I heard more puddles being splashed. Like someone was stepping into them…

I pushed Tadase off, surprised and astounded at what he just did. Regaining my breath slowly, my vision blurred. Tadase, who was now standing right I front of me, was blurred, while someone in the back made himself clear to me.

This man in the back?

He had no umbrella, so he was getting drenched. In his hand was a bad, with ribbons and colorful stuff. His hair was blue. Midnight blue. He was taller than be, by a head. His body was… perfect? Well, to me it was.

He also had a violin case slung over his shoulders. And his eyes… were dark sapphire. They were gazing at me intently, a look of disappointment. Betrayal. Sadness.

A look of defeat.

He started to walk away, turning his back to me. He was getting drenched in the process.

That's when it hit me.

It was Ikuto.

It wasn't until he was almost out of my sight that I realized what happened. When did he get back here? Why did he come back here? Oh, he was invited to your party. I have those moments.

"Amu?" Tadase asked, concerned.

His voice didn't reach me. I dropped the umbrella and started to run to where Ikuto was. I saw him, catching my breath, walking off in the distance. We were on a sidewalk someone in the middle of the city.

His head a plopped down, as his walking was unsteady. Did he see Tadase kiss me? He probably has the wrong idea. What if he still likes me? Just shut up with the questions Amu and go after him.

I tried to catch up to him… but. It was hopeless. He was getting into a taxi, and I couldn't catch up. He was too far away. My legs were tired, and my feet were probably bruised. Well, I was running at full speed with heels on.

That's when it hit me.

What if this was the last time I'll ever see him? I can't even tell him how I feel about him now… he probably hates me.

My only chance I got to actually live a better life. To live my life. To be happy with the only person I loved is now gone. Destroyed. It's completely gone. It's hopeless.

"Ikuto… don't… go…" I said, in between pants of air. I could only raise my hand out; watching him as the taxi drove off.

All I could do was mope back to my place… crying.

Crying.

*~~^~~*

I couldn't sleep. I dried off from the rain after I returned. I told Tadase was happened, and he left with a look of dismay. He felt bad, I'm sure he did. But not as bad as me. All I could do was put on some shorts, and a long, baggy t-shirt. The t-shirt was long enough to cover the shorts; it came about midway to my thighs.

I was lying down on the bed, unable to do anything. My mind wandered off. _What if _I actually met him and talked to him? What if I confessed and he returned my feelings? What if he still loved me? What if he still kept true to that bet he made? What if… we were together?

Oh boy.

The rain stopped, and nothing could be heard. My bed was right next to a balcony, which gave me that nostalgic feeling of when I was a kid. I wished I was a kid again. To have no worries, to have my Charas with me, to be able to talk to Ikuto. To blush at his teasing. I wish.

I wish.

I heard a small thump sound, and then my balcony door opened slowly. A burglar? An insane serial killer? A rapist? A p-pervert? Oh no, all those times Ikuto told me to lock my balcony door… karma is a pain isn't it.

I looked with caution, and it was a man. The moonlight reverberated his features, and I realized who it was. I pretended to be asleep, since, well, I was scared. I couldn't face him now. Not after what happened.

He probably only views me as a friend now, since, he thinks I'm with Tadase. My eyes were peeked slightly as I was able to gain a blurry vision of what he was doing.

The bag he was holding from earlier was placed on the ground, right next to my bed. He also pulled an envelope out from the bag, and placed it on my small nightstand, beside my digital clock and lamp.

I heard him sigh, and I could feel his gaze towards me. My heart was thumping. Fast. I had that fuzzy feeling inside of me, and it felt unbearable. But, I was scared.

"Amu," He whispered. "I'm glad you're doing fine…."

I could hear him, even though his whisper was soft and quiet.

"I'm glad you're in a good relationship with a good guy like Tadase. At least…," He paused for a second. "At least knowing you're doing fine eases my heart a little."

Oh gawd. Since when was he so corny? I felt something wet hit my face, like a raindrop.

"At least… I can love you from a distance. That's good enough for me."

He still loves me? Really? After seven years…

He turned his back to me, and started to walk towards the balcony, ready to make his leave. I had to do something. I can't let it end like this. This was one of those moments you get once in a lifetime, and I sure as hell wasn't going to pass it up.

As he was about to jump off, I shuffled out of my bed and ran. In an instant, I hugged him from the back, using all the power I had. I could feel him stiffen at my touch, surprised and shocked.

My face was muffled into his back, making sure not to let go. As soon as he realized it was me, he regained his composure.

He slid my arms off, and turned around to face me.

His eyes were still the same, as his hair… it had gotten a little longer. He looked more handsome then I remember. Like one of those perfect looking anime characters. Haha, anime. How unrealistic.

I stared at him valiantly, he stared back with sorrow. A sorrowful glow. It hit me like a bullet.

"Amu —mph"

Before he could continue what he was saying, I grabbed his head and pulled it towards mine, kissing him. I started to slowly push him back, without breaking our kiss. He hit the railing of the balcony, and started to kiss back. More vigorously.

I actually felt like I was in control now. No, _I was in control._

But, unfortunately, as God doesn't allow it, I lost the control and now he was the one moving me. We started stepping back to my bedroom, and he pushed us down to the bed.

Boy, this was going to get interesting.

*~~^~~*

**Yeah, I don't know. **


End file.
